Even Smart Women Make Mistakes

I challenge you now...

I attended the University of Missouri in Columbia and left there after my second year with my MRS. We got married in 1980 and we had a wonderful daughter, Bradley, in 1982. I learned from my mother that a woman should be married. My mother almost always worked when I was growing up, so I also learned that mothers, wives, work and support their family and husband. So, I aspired to get a job, get married, and have a family. And I did.

I have been in Advertising, Marketing, Brand Development and Product Development for over 30 years. I had been in the business for more than 20 years when someone asked me how I had gotten into marketing and my response was I tripped and fell. I Knew I wanted to work with people, I had not real plan and the only job available was in advertising, so took it. 

Flashback, It's Thursday, February 3, 1994, I am getting ready to fly to Minneapolis for a business presentation. I have on my “I feel brilliant and confident” Red dress and my husband has just gotten home from the overnight shift at Chrysler’s number plant supervising the quality of their mini-vans. He kisses he hello and says with tears in his eyes, “Robin, I met someone else that I want to share my life with, I want a divorce".

I go on to catch my plane, after all, I have been trained that a woman works and supports her family right? So sitting in the window seat of a Northwest Airlines Boeing 7-something-7 the shock of hearing those words begins to ebb a bit, I make a decision. While I can not avoid being a divorce statistic, I do have a say so over what type of woman I can be going through and on the other side of the divorce.

In that moment, I chose to CREATE my life. I chose to define life, living, and love on my own terms.  I promised myself that post divorce there was going to be a stronger, vibrant, life-loving woman whose heart would not be hardened by one man and one choice made way back when.

And so it began. Those were the seeds, the beginning of Succelerance.  I challenge you now... Share with me what YOUR life would be like if you chose to live a life you deem as rightly successful.  What would you do differently?  What would you keep doing?  What beliefs do you hold that you begin to wonder... just where did those come from?  

Look for more from me shortly.  Let the musings begin.  Check out this information on Succelerance and reserve your place at the front. 

Robin

Did I Just Hear You Yell "STOP THE MADNESS"?

Do you really need life coaching? You know what? You really don’t need a life coach! And that is a true statement if your primary focus is on more of the same, not making a real difference in your life and the lives of others. So then you start asking questions… What do life coaches do anyway?  Why work with one?  I can do this alone, what can a life coach do that I cannot do? And can I really afford to work with one? 

What do life coaches do anyway? Life coaches act as sounding boards, provide a different point of view, introduce new skills, work with you to achieve what you are committed to and hold you accountable every step of the way. 

Why would I work with a life coach, what value do they bring?  Tell me, when was the last time you saw an amateur or professional athlete be successful in their chosen field who did NOT work with a coach?  It’s a paradigm shift to apply this concept to your life! Your urgent desire could be how to share more time with your family, or how to make more money and not invest more time, or finding a fulfilling job or career.  Life Coaches work with you to shorten the length of time it would typically take for you to achieve your goals. 

You say to yourself, I can do this alone. I’ve been successful to this point. I’m fine! True, you really have made it to this point, but you know deep down inside that with that extra oomph, or that different approach you really can make it happen NOW.  It may seem scary or you may be ready for it, but  my job is to move you from "I can’t do that" to "LOOK WHAT I DID"!  

I cannot afford life coaching.  Are you going with that one?  Well I once heard the statement that it is you who decides what life coaching is really worth.  When will you make up your mind that the commitment you are living to fulfill is worth more than the investment in making it happen? How much longer are you willing to wait to bring your dream to life? What is fulfilling your life dreams truly worth to you?  

Learn more about what it would be like to work with me, Robin Spence, at Rightly Successful, LLC a Certified Elite Life Coach.  My rates are reasonable and you can discover if working with me is a match by participating in a 30 to 45 minute consultation. Look me up here. Thanks!

Consider designing your life and making choices out of Personal Freedom, feel free to contact me. Also, check out my earlier posts on Personal Freedom.  I also offer coach and self-directed workshops on 3 Steps to Personal Freedom.  You can learn more about those at www.rightlysuccessful.com.

Until then, I would love to read your comments!

Robin

Could a Blues Lover Benefit from Life Coaching?

Has this ever happened to you before?  You’re in a conversation with someone and the next day (or even a few moments later) you think about the conversation and say to yourself, gee, I wish I had said XYZ or just said anything other than what I said!

Yeah, well it happened to me recently! I have talked in previous posts about a Personal Action Certificate and some of you may have read mine. I have a line in mine that says “I expect to constantly question and challenge who I am by continually learning and loving life and strengthening my mind, body, soul and character.” Well I missed an opportunity to be kind and to show interest in another person.  I missed the chance to learn something new and strengthen my mind and soul.  I failed to recognize the best in another human being. 

Here is what happened. We’re at Beale on Broadway, an atmospheric Blues joint, in downtown St. Louis. Black and white photos of Muddy Waters,Elvis Presley, Etta James, B.B. King, Keith Richards, Tina Turner, Johnny Johnson and others line the walls. The place is no larger than most people’s living /dining room combo.  I’ve witnessed artists pluck a guitar off the wall to replace the one they are playing on stage. The haze in the air is from blues musicians past.  Your soul is comforted just entering the doors and your cares melt away.  The blues is to me as life coaching is to my clients. The way forward. 

It was between acts, about 10:15 on a Saturday night. There to experience the remarkable guitar playing of Marquise Knox, I started talking to a gentleman who was holding a guitar.  I walked up to him, introduced myself and asked what he was doing.  He told me that he was Mr. Knox’s brother and was just holding his guitar.  And then it happened!  I launched into questions about Marquise.  I failed to recognize and acknowledge the human being directly in front of me. 

So you may be wondering why this has stayed with me for this long.  Well two reasons. One, I did not live in accordance with what I say is important to me. I am out of alignment with what I say matters to me.  After living my Personal Action Certificate for this long, when I’m out of alignment with what it means, boy do I feel it, acutely. And two, I need to fix this, correct it! Not that I’m traveling around the world ready to pounce.  But I do want to apologize to his brother and carry on a conversation WITH his brother, about him and acknowledge him!  I don’t even know his name and I really want to fix my oversight. Each and every person is worth at least that much!

So that is my new mission.  Truly be with the person I am talking to.  Acknowledge the person who is in front of me and live in the now. Ironic since I’m trying to go back and change the past, isn’t it?

Oh, and if you see that Marquise Knox is in your area, and you are even a passing blues fan.  Check his styling's out.  Now that is time well spent. 

I'll let you know when I have corrected this oversight.  And I WILL let you know how I’m doing with being with the one I’m with. (is there a song in there somewhere?)

Friends, my guess is yes, even blues lovers would benefit from life coaching, it could help them find their way forward

Friends, this is long enough for one read. If you want to know more about designing your life and your Personal Action Certificate and and making choices out of Personal Freedom, feel free to contact me. Also, check out my earlier posts on Personal Freedom.  I also offer coach and self-directed workshops on 3 Steps to Personal Freedom.  You can learn more about those at www.rightlysuccessful.com.

Until then, I would love to read your comments!
Robin

Three Myths of Change: Life Coaching and You

We all have reached this place at some time in our lives.  You know the place… Your job, schooling, or relationship may be just starting or is nearing an end. You are looking to start, grow or close your business. You find yourself bored with your life and you are wondering what now.

Looking into the face of change, some of you may find yourself feeling panic, frozen, or possibly even indecisive. You want answers to life’s big questions:

Which way should I go?

I’m not sure, the way the prevailing winds are blowing perhaps.

What should I do?

What my friends, parents, or partner say I should do.

How do I know?

I don’t know; if I’m making someone else happy then I’ll know.

How will things turn out?

I will have to wait and see how things turn out, I really don’t have a say in how they will turn out.

These answers aren’t comforting; we cannot see into the future. As a life coach I work with clients to address ways to navigate and initiate change in their lives. Knowing the landscape of your life, you make decisions that support your goals. In business, and daily life activities, we implement this process automatically without much thought and consideration. We approach living out habit. This, in part, is the myth of addressing change. Our habitual behavior may not serve us well as we face new challenges or changing times.  We “go with what we know” without realizing that it may no longer or really had never served us well. We are operating on the myths of addressing change.

Myth 1: Make changes based on your personal experiences

Our mind and personal experience and knowledge are often times the first place we look to when addressing change.  Those who rely solely on this approach risk repeating the same mistakes over and over again. The myth of life dictates that our ability to identify with life experience as truth results in creating more of this truth in our lives. If this truth is a truth of painful experiences, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Myth 2: Making a change based on your emotions and intuition

Not everyone is in touch with their emotions and intuition or explore them freely.  Emotions are very useful in interpreting and / or being aware of underlying factors that may not be evident through hard tangible data. For some this is a gut-feeling for others they have a flash of insight or conclusion, and others feel twinges in certain parts of their body. Relying solely on emotions and intuition may offer little potential significance, it is not linked with practicality and it may be fleeting.

Myth 3: Making a change based on your spirituality or religion

Many of us look to our spirituality or religion to guide our decisions.  Spirituality is a quiet place, a higher level of wisdom for the greater good. This can be pertinent to you, your life, your family life, community, work, the world, and so on. The levels of knowledge accessible here are limitless. Relying solely on this approach does not take your personal experience into consideration. It is as though we are connected to a universal storehouse of knowledge.

Truth: Making a change based on how you designed your life

More and more people are designing their lives. What do you do when you design your life? It means being clear about who you are and what matters most to you. The payoff is you create the potential for a happier outcome to the change you are facing.  Living a Rightly Successful life, one YOU designed, offers a holistic approach to facing, dealing with and initiating change. It is far less judgmental and emotional. You synthesize all of these approaches, your personal experiences, your emotions and intuition and your spirituality and integrate them to make a choice about the change that leads to your own Personal Freedom.

You address change with higher levels of confidence. This is something that many people work with a life coach on because the are maturing and seeking more significance in their lives and meaning in their work. By making decisions about change from your Personal Action Certificate (PAC), the plan from which you are living your life, you can increase the likelihood that you can clearly address those big life questions.

Which way should I go?

In the direction that is consistent with how you said you were living your life in your PAC

What should I do?

Live in accordance to the roles you described in your PAC

How do I know?

You have the experience peace, calm, clarity and freedom of choice.

How will things turn out?

YOU are the one that says how things will turn out because you have designed your own life.

Friends, this is long enough for one read. If you want to know more about designing your life and making choices out of Personal Freedom, feel free to contact me. Also, check out my earlier posts on Personal Freedom.  I also offer coach and self-directed workshops on 3 Steps to Personal Freedom.  You can learn more about those at www.rightlysuccessful.com.

Until then, I would love to read your comments!
Robin